Manny Ramirez wants to make a comeback but he has a lot of explaining to do before anyone welcomes his return, Bud Shaw writes in his Sunday Spin column.
CLEVELAND, Ohio -- If he wants to prove he's changed, he could start by talking about himself in the first person...
Manny Ramirez wants Manny Ramirez to make a comeback.
"I want to show people that Manny can change, that he can do the right thing..." Ramirez told ESPN. Manny's always had an out-of-body appreciation for his work and an out-of-this-world capacity to forgive himself. He didn't use steroids. The other Manny must've done it behind his back.
But even he must know he's a hard sell, and not just because he must sit out the first 50 games of the season. He had nine home runs and 42 RBI in 2010. Last year he played five games before retiring to dodge a suspension after testing positive for performance enhancers. What does he have left to offer?
"Hitting is about repetition," Ramirez said. Yep. The Clear. The Cream. Rinse and repeat.
A suddenly contrite Ramirez is an improvement over the fool who walked away from baseball and the Tampa Bay Rays in early April, saying he was at "ease" in part because "God knows what's best [for me]."
Now he's basically saying he got some bad, if divine, advice? That's his story and he can bend it any way that suits him. More intriguing is why anybody would bite. You mean there's a hitter available who will turn 40 in May and won't enjoy the benefit of PEDs? How could any team turn its back on such a prize?
Indians' General Manager Chris Antonetti told a media gathering Friday the Indians won't pursue Ramirez.
"With where we are, it's probably not the best positional fit for us," Antonetti said. "Manny, his contributions would be more in the batter's box, and we already have a DH."
Hopefully, Antonetti was just being polite. Hopefully, the real reason the Indians aren't interested is that bringing a habitual cheater and quitter into the clubhouse -- even if he were still productive -- would be sending the worst message possible.
Ramirez says he wants to be a "role model" now. Nothing is as simple as Ramirez has always tried to make it sound, least of all a transformation to good example for boys and girls everywhere.
"I don't want to leave the game like I did," Ramirez told ESPN's Pedro Gomez. "I also want to show my kids that if you make a mistake, don't quit. Just go back and fix it. And if you're going to leave, leave the right way."
Wonder if he feels the same way about coming back? There is a right way to do it, after all. In fact, any semi-interested GM should deem it absolutely necessary. Full disclosure. When did he start using PEDs? For how long? Why did he keep using long after a policy went into effect?
A tryout can only tell so much. Teams should want to know the extent of his PED use before they could judge what kind of hitter they'd be getting.
Besides, you'd expect nothing less from a "role model."
He meant to liken it to a fire drill, or something...
Good thing 2011 is in Gordon Gee's rearview mirror. It wasn't a very good year for Ohio State's Gaffe Master of Ceremonies. He ticked off the Little Sisters of the Poor, TCU and Boise State in an impressive hat trick. He made light of scandal at Ohio State when he said that not only wouldn't he fire Jim Tressel, "I'm just hoping the coach doesn't dismiss me."
Happy to get that behind him, Gee addressed a group of friendly faces in Columbus this week and everything went smoothly, except for the part where he insulted an entire country.
"When we had these 18 colleges all kind of floating around," Gee said of the difficulty in coordinating OSU's independent schools and colleges, "they were kind of like PT boats, they were shooting each other."
OK. OK. Stay safe, Dr. Gee. You're almost out of danger.
Uh-oh ... Incoming!
"It was kind of like the Polish army or something. I have no idea what it was."
Gee had to apologize to a Polish-American group that called his comments "slanderous." Only 15 days into the new year, it's going to take great effort for OSU to keep Gee under wraps so that 2012 doesn't match 2011.
That would be a tie not even Gordon Gee could consider a victory.
SPINOFFS
OK, OK, it's easy to pick on Gee, who has been in much demand as a university president throughout his successful academic career. To only point out his gaffes would give Gee reason to call Spin what he called former Ohio Gov. George Voinovich back in 1992 – "a damn dummy..."
The NFL will apparently consider implementing a rule preventing in-season coaching moves like the one former Broncos' head coach Josh McDaniels made to New England this past week in advance of Saturday night's game between the Patriots and Broncos.What's the harm? It's not as if letting Bill Belichick get away with that will lead to him spying on other teams...
A ESPN poll says Tim Tebow is America's favorite athlete after Tebow garnered 3 percent of the vote. I find that conclusive only if the margin for error is plus or minus 97 percent...
Shaquille O'Neal insisted during the TNT studio show that in a 2000 game when he shot 18-of-39 from the free-throw line that it constituted "over 50 percent." When Charles Barkley contested his numbers, O'Neal said, "Look it up. 18 plus 18 equals 36. I went 18-for-39."
That's the kind of math that led one AP voter to vote O'Neal's alma mater, LSU, No. 1 after Alabama beat the Tigers, 21-0...
SEPARATED AT BIRTH
Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shahid Khan and Cigar Guy from the 2010 Ryder Cup -- B.A., Mayfield Heights
Brent Musberger and Simon Helberg (Howard Wolowitz of the Big Bang Theory) -- Jeff Sords
Prince and Joe Haden -- David Orloff
HE SAID IT
"I love to see what a guy can do when his back is up against the wall and everybody counts him out. I'm in that same boat sometimes." -- LeBron James, on what he allegedly shares with Tebow.
When will people stop expecting so much from a poor, overachieving basketball player who only wants to be considered, you know, one of the guys who just happens to have a "Chosen 1" tattoo on his back.
YOU SAID IT
(The Expanded Sunday Sermon Edition)
"Bud:
"What is more humiliating: Buffalo having a better W-L record than the Browns, or Cleveland being the only team in their division not to win a playoff spot?" -- Jim D, Richmond Heights
Hanging my journalistic hat on "You Said It."
"Bud:
"Scholars in Denver found this script, supposedly cut from the Bible: 'On the eighth day, God created Tim Tebow to defeat quarterbacks who prey on drunk girls in public restrooms.' Do you think it's authentic?" -- Adam, Columbia Station
Allegedly.
"Bud:
"'Prepareth Maynard, Hillis up the middle.' Is that the official translation of 3:16 in the Shurmur Bible?" -- Michael Sarro
Hard to say. There is no unanimity. One version, for instance, says, "Forgetteth Maynard and Hillis, lo, pitcheth to Armond Smith."
"Bud:
"When you write a better column than [Bill] Livingston, do you go into his office vigorously nodding your head, or vigorously shaking your head?" -- Ron
Given my professional status at this point in my career, I don't do anything without asking myself "WWTLD" -- what would Thaddeus Lewis do?
"Bud:
"If it is said that those who forget the past tend to repeat it, shouldn't the Browns forget 1946 to about 1966?" -- Ron Emch, Hubbard
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection.
"Bud:
"Are you afraid of a tax audit over past Browns playoff tickets?" -- Joe S
Repeat winners get a visit from the IRS.
On Twitter: @budshaw