You can't lose something you never had, and the Browns never had Chip Kelly, Bud Shaw writes.
When is a Duck not a Duck? When it's an Eagle. Oregon coach Skip Kelly passed on a chance to remain with the Ducks, choosing instead to become coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.
Paul Connors, Associated Press
CLEVELAND, Ohio -- You can't lose what you didn't have.
Chip Kelly might like to be a cowboy when he grows up.
Or a baker or a candlestick maker.
Barring all that, he'd might even become a man of his word someday.
With the news that Kelly gave new definition to the term "read-option" with a late deception delivering him to paydirt in Philadelphia comes the criticism that the Browns somehow look worse for the surprising turn of events.
How exactly, no one can say. They're just so accustomed to the Browns playing the fool they surmise it must have happened again since Kelly did, in fact, re-open talks with the Eagles while the Browns were rushing to sign up Rob Chudzinski for a third tour in Berea.
The trouble with this logic is clear. You'd have to believe the Browns and Kelly still believed they were meant for each other. My best guess is Kelly never thought that. Not the first time around. And certainly not at second glance.
Did the Browns blow it by not giving him enough power to seal the original deal? Doubtful. Kelly was convinced he needed to hear everyone out. And even at that, you'd have to believe it made sense to give total power to a college coach with absolutely no NFL experience.
A far more believable take is that Kelly's decision was always between the Eagles and Oregon for a variety of reasons.
The breadth of Joe Banner's power might well have been one of them. Still, there was enough to recommend the Eagles over the Browns without that dooming the Browns.
The Eagles have a more explosive roster that nearly matches the Browns' youth.
Michael Vick at least gives Kelly an option to executive his offensive philosophy, though Kelly isn't any more likely to be a fan of a turnover machine at quarterback than any other coach would be.
The Eagles have their talent evaluator in place. The Browns are still interviewing for the position.
Kelly is an East Coast guy.
Until the past couple years, the Eagles ranked as one of the premier franchises in the NFL. The Browns, of course, did, too. A half century ago.
Kelly knew all that when he turned down the Eagles 11 days ago. By then, the Browns took the opportunity to walk away, letting it be known they had reason to doubt Kelly's interest in going all-in with the NFL.
They positioned themselves as the walking away on their own terms, not on his. Teams do this all the time.
But does anyone have fewer doubts about his commitment to the NFL today than they did back then?
If the Browns' search is subject to criticism it's on two fronts
One, they missed on a candidate they really liked -- Doug Marrone, the Syracuse coach who took the Buffalo job -- while misreading the Kelly tea leaves.
My only other issue is after rebooting the coaching search and expanding it, they called, interviewed and hired Rob Chudzinski in the space of three days.
Since Chudzinski wasn't interviewing with anyone else, why rush to get him under contract with legitimate candidates such as Mike McCoy in Denver still out there?
Then again maybe I'm accustomed to a snail's pace, having watched so many Browns' two-minute drills in 2012.
Would waiting have provided a second chance at Chip Kelly?
No way.
He might've been their top choice. But it's pretty clear now they weren't his.
And my guess is the first time around they liked the idea of Chip Kelly. The reality of Chip Kelly, as we've discovered, is a different animal.
A chameleon.
Spinoffs
Former Denver offensive coordinator Mike McCoy accepted the San Diego head coaching job and immediately announced he'd hire an offensive coordinator and turn play calling over to him.
A head coach deciding to be a head coach? What a concept.
At the press conference announcing FirstEnergy has bought naming rights for Cleveland Browns' Stadium, organizers showed a video montage of Cleveland sports history.
The next announcement should've been that grief counselors were available.
A big news conference. A crowd on hand. The unveiling of a corporate logo can't help but be a letdown. Don't worry, the next curtain-raising might well reveal Mike Lombardi.
In Terry Francona's new book, former Sox GM Theo Epstein says Boston ownership cared more about acquiring sexy, marketable players over the past few seasons.
No worries for Francona in that department these days. He's come to the right place.
A lawyer is suing the San Antonio Spurs in Miami Dade County over Gregg Popovich's controversial decision to send his star players home before a game against the Heat.
Said attorney Larry McGuinness, "It was like going to Morton's Steakhouse and paying $63 for porterhouse and they bring out cube steak."
With the NBA schedule requiring teams to play four games in five nights, diner beware.
There's always the chance you'll be left with the taste of ground round in your mouth.
Packers' assistant coach Kevin Greene said defensive coordinator Dom Capers absolutely deserves to return despite a tough year defensively for Green Bay.
"Does a fat baby fart?" Greene told the Green Bay Press Gazette.
No reason to drag Rob Ryan into this.
The Associated Press called Lance Armstrong's confession a "stunning reversal."Surely they meant "self-serving."
Ravens' linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo ripped the Patriots' hurry-up offense as a "gimmick" and referred to New England as the organization that "did Spygate and cut a guy the day (before) the Super Bowl."
He was referring to Tiquan Underwood.
The rest of us think of the Patriots as the organization that's in the Super Bowl often enough to cut a guy the day before.
The Atlanta Falcons no doubt feel delivered by the dramatic win over Seattle that ended a string of playoff collapses.
Since it delivered Colin Kaepernick, they should reconsider their good fortune.
My picks: San Francisco over Atlanta, New England over Baltimore. Then New England over San Francisco.
And I haven't been wrong since I said Fox News would never hire Dennis Kucinich.
Deadspin's bizarre story of Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o and his deceased (made-up?) girlfriend is too complicated to go into here. But read it and tell me if you don't think Lance Armstrong is thrilled with its timing.
And to think there was a time when Notre Dame believed George O'Leary's resume represented a credibility problem.
He said it
(But Probably Regets It)
"He did exactly what he said he would do: He would talk, he would gather all the information and then he would reflect and make a decision -- and that's exactly what he did. I appreciate the way he handled it." -- Oregon AD Rob Mullen 11 days ago when Chip Kelly told him he was staying at Oregon.
She Tweeted it
"Just wrapped with Lance Armstrong. More than 2 1/2 hours. He came READY." -- Oprah Winfrey after taping her interview for Thursday's show.
So the headline from The Onion is true: "Lance Armstrong Admits to Using Remorse-Enhancing Drugs."
You said it
(The Expanded Midweek Edition)
"Bud: Why did Lance Armstrong choose to be interviewed by Oprah? Wasn't Jim Gray available?" -- Bob H, Medina
Let's clear up a misconception. When Jim Gray asked LeBron James what his favorite cupcake was, LeBron did not say, "It used to be chocolate but now it's this interview."
"Bud: Amount contributed toward the stadium by county taxpayers: $300 million. Amount contributed toward the stadium by Jimmy Haslam: $0. Naming rights: Approximately $75 to $100 million to . . . Jimmy Haslam. The NFL sure is a great investment by a city, eh boys?" -- Ron
Yeah but look what the city is saving in ticker tape parade cleanup.
"Bud: Have you received any funny emails about 'Brown-Outs' at FirstEnergy Stadium?" -- Russ G
You could've stopped at funny emails.
"Bud: Did you misremember to mark Roger Clemens' name on your Hall of Fame ballot?" -- Wayne Kuznar
For some reason when I type his name on my IPad auto correct changes it to Stanozolol.
"Bud: Is it true Joe Banner never eats Chinese because an hour later he's hungry for power?" -- Kevin McCarthy
First-time "You said it" winners receive a T-shirt from the mental_floss collection.
"Bud: Given Derek Anderson's comments upon his departure that Cleveland fans didn't deserve a winner, would his rumored return by considered a self-fulfilling prophecy?" -- Bill T, Lakewood
Repeat winners get booed.
"Bud: If the Browns did hire cheerleaders, what would they do on Sundays?" -- Paul S
Repeat winners also get left out in the cold.