Andrew Bynum won't work out for teams but that didn't stop the Cleveland Cavaliers from rewarding him handsomely.
CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Andrew Bynum made $16 million last year in Philadelphia and played in zero games.
Now that may sound like a complete waste of money. You investigate further, though, and discover he did practice one day. Coincidentally, that day was in February.
For the purposes of what came next, the practice should've been held in Punxsutawney, because Bynum saw the shadow of his former self and retreated to the bench for the next six weeks.
The Cavs' pursuit of Bynum was nevertheless understandable. The deal that he agreed to on Wednesday is as smartly constructed as you could expect under the circumstances, laden with incentives and a second-year team option. But let's step back from the desert mirage that makes Bynum look like a probable franchise-changing free agent and look clearly at the horizon ahead and behind.
When you do that, you see an often-injured, sometimes immature player who threw up threes in transition, then defended it, and who didn't always feel the need to partake in the timeout huddles in L.A. when Mike Brown coached there.
Chasing Bynum is excusable because of his talent and the old adage about how you cant't teach height.
It's more understandable here because coveted free agents, let alone 7-0, 25-year-old free agents, don't exactly circle over Hopkins Airport waiting for their chance to land. Understandable because the Cavs need to make this a place Kyrie Irving wants to call home after a three-year stretch of 64-166.
Justified because they need to gussy up this roster for the free agent class of 2014. For a LeBron James reunion to happen, he'd at least need to see a better supporting cast than he walked away from in the summer of 2010.
Bynum didn't make it easy on teams. There are no hard and fast rules in free agency. But there should be at least one. If you feel good enough to dance the Flamenco in Spain in May as Bynum did, you shouldn't refuse to work out for teams two months later.
Nobody is suggesting he moved around the dance floor with great abandon. This wasn't Emmitt Smith on Dancing with the Stars ...
... as the video attests.
Then again, we're not suggesting he needed to play two hours of five-on-five to prove his worthiness.
What we are saying is for a guy who missed all last season and whose teammates have questioned his desire and maturity, going on a three-city tour with his hand out and no basketball shoes on his feet was a bad look.
What we are saying is a player who further injured his right knee bowling last November while rehabbing his left knee probably shouldn't be talked up as a potential All-Star. And that the risk the Cavs are taking is that he's trying to hide the "fragile" sign attached to both knees.
"I'm sure most people feel I shouldn't (have bowled)," Bynum told reporters the day after his Saturday night out at the lanes. "But I'm kind of taking the position if that happened bowling, what happens dunking? I don't see anything wrong with going bowling."
That might provide some insight into why he's not working out. It should also have sent up some red flags -- as should what he also said that night.
"I have an issue with my knees. I've pretty much seen every specialist."
The Cavs had to spend some money just to reach the salary cap basement. Dan Gilbert isn't going to ask any of us for a loan to pay Bynum. The organization is doing what teams do when they feel as if they've lost forever and need to accelerate the rebuild. They get desperate. They get bold.
That's understandable. But let's not pretend signing him is more than taking a reasonable chance on talented, damaged goods -- at least until we see him on the court instead of the dance floor.
SPINOFFS
• The Denver Broncos had harsh words for former Browns' GM Tom Heckert and Matt Russell, the team's director of player personnel, after DUIs in separate incidents.
Joe Banner knew Tom Heckert (right) going back to their Philly days. Was that another reason Heckert was let go?John Kuntz, The Plain Dealer
Heckert's arrest came on June 11, but the team said nothing publicly. Heckert reportedly was not suspended. The Broncos only addressed the Heckert incident after Russell last weekend hit a police car and injured an officer.
They may be trying to move the needle on the Outrage Meter but the Sincerity Meter isn't budging.
•Only Joe Banner can say if he had concerns about Heckert and if those concerns played any part in not keeping him around.
But in the meantime, we'll say it for him.
• Word out of the Bynum camp is that he will be ready by November.
They did not specify for what.
• Steve Nash told a radio show in Los Angeles that Dwight Howard was never really happy playing for the Lakers.
In Orlando, of course, he was as happy as a kid at Disney.
• The Buddhists have an expression: wherever you go, there you are.
• Anna Benson, the estranged wife of former major-league pitcher Kris Benson, was arrested after entering his home in a bulletproof vest. Police reports said she had a handgun, expandable baton, taser, knife and hatchet.
Kris Benson left the house and called police. They found her sitting on the back porch smoking a cigarette.
Anna, Delonte. Delonte, Anna.
• Gary Player does hundreds of situps a day at age 77.
I am closing in on 77 situps since high school but several of those were an attempt to get off the bed after putting on jeans straight from the dryer
• Milwaukee Brewers' slugger Ryan Braun reportedly refused to answer MLB's questions about his connection to the Biogenesis Clinic. Braun insists he has nothing to hide.
And by that he means nothing he wants to talk about.
• After 16 days of rain, we should take this opportunity to set aside our unrequited passion for football in this town and declare canoe-kayak our sport.
• WEWS Channel 5 quoted a NFL spokesman saying the league has "no plan" based on the possibility of an indictment of Jimmy Haslam in the FBI-IRS investigation of his company, Pilot Flying J.
And if you believe that of a league that polices how players wear their socks on game day, you believe O.J. Simpson was looking for the real killer all those days he spent on the golf course.
Colin Kaepernick didn't see the big deal about his Dolphins' hat but wore a Niners hat last time out in public.Instragram
• Colin Kaepernick angered some 49ers fans by wearing a Miami Dolphins cap in public. Is that smart? Not really.
But if there's any off-season where we ought to be able to discern between dumb and criminal behavior in the NFL, it's this one.
HE SAID IT
"Time will tell." -- David Lee, the agent for Andrew Bynum, on when his client might pick a team.
I hope that's clear.
HE SAID WHAT?
"America is maybe the most unhealthy nation in the world because the live on crap." -- 77-year-old South African golfing great Gary Player, who posed nude in ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue, and who believes in healthy eating.
I think I speak for all Americans and most sportswriters when I say, sir, thank you for saying "maybe."
YOU SAID IT
"Bud:
"Any chance the Indians will buy back my Matt Laporta jersey?" -- Flo
There's a chart, like NFL teams use on draft day, that says it can only be exchanged for a Felix Pie jersey.
"Hey George Bernard:
"We have a league where a player who hasn't played in a year because of a bowling injury, now refuses to work out for his prospective team and will probably sign a contract for 15 million a year. We have players who went into the stands to beat up paying fans. A referee convicted and sent to prison for fixing games. Any idea why I haven't watched one minute of NBA basketball in 15 years?" -- Devin, Concord
Too busy painting with a broad brush?
"Bud:
"Why don't the NFL owners just hire Maracopa County Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio as the Commissioner?" -- O. Bill Stone
Roger Goodell considers him too soft.
"Hey Bud:
"I have reason to believe the recently departed Browns fan requesting the Browns as pall-bearers so that they 'can let him down one more time' had to be a Spin reader. -- Russ
I hope you don't mean because they're a dying breed.
"Hey Bud,
"Do you ever go to the bullpen to write a 'simulated' column?" -- Gary D, Columbia Station
No more than three times a week.
"Bud:
"Losing three out of four and not getting swept? Do you think the Tigers were even aware of the message Terry Francona was trying to send?" -- Mark A, Bainbridge Township
The message was clear. Have your fun now Tigers, because you don't play us at all in September.
"Bud:
"Manny Ramirez comeback or 'Pet Rock' comeback?" -- Jim Corrigan, Fairview Park
I root for the one that's the better interview. Not that I don't also wish Manny the best.
"Hey Bud:
"Has Fausto Carmona changed his name to Carlos Carrasco?" --Tim, Twinsburg
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection. Repeat winners need to lie about their identity.