LeBron James didn't have to leave home to be part of the circus, Bud Shaw writes in his Sunday Spin.
The banner above makes the Cavsâ advantage in retaining LeBron James pretty clear. LeBron James didn't have to leave home to join the circus.
Q. What to make of Miami's meeting going overtime?
Not much. Pat Riley's contingent ran over in their meeting with James but sources say Riley spent 90 of those minutes in the men's room waiting for the sculpting gel to set.
"These people need to see who we are," Riley said. "They need to see me, Andy, Zo, Spo, Mickey and the rings."
Zo, Spo, Mickey and the rings? Where was Gollum?
Riley's career is diamond-studded. No argument there.
Unless he's going to come back to the bench and replace Eric Spoelstra (Spo), those championship rings might as well be cubic zirconia.
Grade: B-minus.
Q. What does it mean that the Knicks say they didn't get much feedback from LeBron?
It depends. If he left the room to play Xbox, it means he thinks they're the Clippers East.
If he stayed at the table but did Sudoku during the presentation, it means he thinks they're the Clippers East but he promised Chris Rock he'd at least pretend to listen.
Grade: D-minus.
Q. How big does LeBron want to be in Omsk?
With dynamic Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov promising to help James become a global icon, the Nets believe they presented well.
In fact, their presentation was described as "spectacular." By them.
The Nets have redeeming qualities and good young talent. Mix Prokhorov's bravado with Avery Johnson's cartoon-character voice and a team coming off a 12-70 season and -- though, I don't know -- this is either a promising situation or a situation comedy along the lines of the movie "Moscow on the Hudson."
Grade: B
Q. Why did the Clippers even bother?
I don't want to say the Clippers looked under-represented at the meeting, but Trinidad and Tobago had a larger Winter Olympics delegation.
The Clips were a contingent of two -- GM Neil Olshey and President Andy Roeser -- with no head coach and no owner.
Olshey and Roeser had legitimate reason to worry that LeBron's first two questions would be:
1)"And you are? . . ."
2)"And you're with? . . ."
Showing up with no coach? Not helpful. The Clips haven't hired one yet.
Showing up without owner Donald Sterling, a league laughingstock for so many years?
Understandable.
The equivalent strategy would be BP's Tony Hayward skipping the July 4 parade in Gulf Shores, Alabama.
Definitely for the best.
I give the Clippers credit for not joining the circus. They kept it short and sweet.
I even like parts of their roster. But they're destined to walk behind the elephants in this parade.
Grade: D
Q. Is a good roster enough to sell so-so ownership?
A schedule change Saturday moved the Bulls last, behind the Cavaliers, in making a presentation to James.
The Bulls were said to be considering bringing heads of Fortune 500 companies to Cleveland to help woo James.
(Now that's a deal I'll take. If James goes to Chicago, we get to keep at least five Fortune 500 companies. But that's not how it will go down if he falls for the Bulls' roster and Michael Jordan's legacy.)
Chicago is a serious player.
Grade: A-minus.
p.s. No one knows exactly why the Cavs were moved up and the Bulls were moved back. Just a guess:
The Bulls needed some extra research time. They were trying to find a year -- any year -- that owner Jerry Reinsdorf has chased the Holy Grail deep into the luxury tax.
Q. The Cavs are selling "home" but is it "Home Alone"?
I think James stays because he knows what he's dealing with in Dan Gilbert and his role in the organization. He doesn't know about the Nets and Prokhorov. And what he knows about Reinsdorf should worry him.
He stays because Byron Scott has some clout with him, both because of Scott's r sum as a player and because of his standing with Chris Paul, James' good buddy. And, money. Never forget the money.
Can the Cavs convince him the roster will be even better next year? That's where it gets ticklish.
If the Cavs weren't James' hometown team, no way he'd sign with them.
Knowing he can stay for more money and pull a Kevin Garnett later if he's truly unhappy, why not another tour of duty?
Grade: B-plus.
With the hometown curve, it becomes an A.
Sweet dreams, sweet prince
No wonder he's tired, being flattered beyond good reason is exhausting.
Free agent Chris Bosh tweeted that he's fatigued and has no more meetings on his schedule.
He did not say whether he would nap in the bed full of $100 bills this time, or just the $50s.
Have gun, will travel
In the movie version, Jim Carrey co-starred with Jeff Daniels.
Browns' defensive lineman Robaire Smith was with Shaun Rogers in April when Rogers got stopped with a loaded gun in his carry-on bag at Hopkins Airport.
In a case dating to last November, Smith this week was charged with misdemeanor possession of a firearm at Bishop International Airport in Flint, Michigan, his hometown.
And now we know Rogers' answer to the question: If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you at least put on the safety before you jumped with a .45 in your pocket?
He said it
"Baldassi was very bad. And the linesman was Andrea Bocelli." -- Diego Maradona, Argentina's coach, comparing a World Cup official to the blind Italian tenor.
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles thank Maradona for leaving them out of the world's worst clich for once.
You said it
(The Expanded Sunday Edition)
"Bud: I hope someone is filming the presentations being made to LeBron. I know I would pay to watch billionaires and rap moguls grovel." -- Parke
If not, I can give you the tape of my recruitment at the PD in which a summer intern in Human Resources calls me "Bub" and offers me my own delivery route.
"Hey Bud: I'm writing this on July 1. Isn't this the much anticipated day that Shaq becomes a free agent?" -- Vince
I thought I told you to never write me using a fake name, Diesel.
"Bud: If LeBron James goes to the Clippers, will he get the tattoo '555' (the phony telephone exchange used in Hollywood productions)?" -- Pat
The real Hollywood exchange, according to Focus on the Family, is "666."
"Hey Bud: Do you think France or Italy's soccer team needs a good forward? The best available is LeBron James, right?" -- Jim
James would have a serious learning curve. Even though he milks injuries, unlike most soccer players he has never sent back a stretcher and waited for a casket.
"Bud: Given Cleveland's penchant for the absurd, will the city have a downtown parade if LeBron decides to stay 'home'?" -- Cameron
Yes. Not only that, but Continental Airlines will offer discount roundtrip tickets from Hopkins to Burke Lakefront in honor of the big decision.
"Bud: It's great to see how well the Tribe is playing following the return to American League play, but we really need to get these NL ballparks figured out before the World Series." -- Alan
First-time "You said it" winners receive a T-shirt from the mental_floss collection.
"Bud: Will Mike Redmond participate the next time the seniors walk the bases?" -- Victor G.
Him, too.
"Bud: Are the Browns D-linemen simply heeding coach Mangini's advice to 'be more explosive'?" -- Chuck D
Repeat winners get the spot behind Robaire Smith and Shaun Rogers going through airport security.