No profession in the world is as scorned as World Cup referee, Bud Shaw writes in his Sunday Spin.
So you want to be a World Cup referee? Michael Bradley (right) and some other members of the U.S. soccer team might be thinking than someone off the street (or at least a good amateur league) might have been better than Mali official Koman Coulibaly was on Friday.CLEVELAND, Ohio -- A good spin doesn't just happen in Cleveland, but around the world.
World Cup refs are under fire today as they haven't been since yesterday.
Major League Baseball umpires, NBA refs and NBA officials have it cushy. They never look better than they do in a World Cup year.
Malian ref Koman Coulibaly, who cost the U.S. a win Friday, is just the latest World Cup official to make our umps and refs look eagle-eyed and infallible.
A quick search of "referee controversies" from 2006 alone turns up the following list of matches marred by one refereeing issue or another:
Australia-Japan. Argentina-Cote d' Ivoire. France-Korea Republic. Togo-Switzerland. Korea Republic-Switzerland. Ghana-United States. Ukraine-Tunisia. Portugal-Netherlands. Italy-Australia. Brazil-Ghana. Spain-France. Italy-France.
The upshot of this constant criticism is that some World Cup refs are getting touchier than Joey Crawford. Referee Valentin Ivanov, for instance, set a World Cup record last time around by issuing four red cards while also pulling out 16 yellow cards.
That's enough to make Crawford look as calm and collected as a meditating lama. Umpires like Jim Joyce and Joe West and refs like Crawford probably wish they could hide behind a language barrier as World Cup refs often do.
U.S. team members hounded Coulibaly, who couldn't or wouldn't provide an explanation. World Cup refs, though, have it worse. They get immediately put on notice after a badly officiated game. Sometimes they get sent home.
Coulibaly immediately faced an expedited review after his call Friday. Four years ago, English ref Graham Poll mistakenly issued three yellow cards to the same player without an ejection. Citing "pain and agony" over his mistake, Poll retired from international tournament matches over "the fear of it happening again."
Umps and refs here should never complain about their jobs. If the Real Joe West, singer/umpire/renaissance man (as he markets himself) blows a call, he's got union protection and maybe even material for another country ballad.
I'm not saying World Cup refs are the most scorned professionals in the world but my guess is four out of five would gladly trade jobs with BP's Tony Hayward.
After further review, there will be no further review.
Baseball and soccer have one thing in common. An aversion to available technology. And for basically the same reason.
During a controversy-filled 2006 World Cup, France's Fabien Barthez dismissed the notion that instant replay should be used on goals, saying, "It would be a shame to stop play."
Yes, a shame to stop such an action-packed game.
Barthez's solution: more referees. More humans to make more errors?
Who would argue the logic in that, except World Cup players in a couple dozen different languages.
You could see things getting out of hand if he insisted on watching "Wife Swap."
A South African man was savagely beaten by his wife and children when he insisted on watching Germany play Australia in the World Cup. His family wanted to watch a gospel program.
David Makoeya, 61, was attacked while trying to change the channel by hand after his wife and two kids confiscated the remote control. Police are still investigating and would not comment on whether the religious program in question was "The Gospel According to Ultimate Fighting's Randy Couture."
Ron Artest may have wanted to just hand over the Larry O'Brien trophy to his psychiatrist, but the Lakers intercepted the pass.SPINOFFS
LeBron James expressed his love for his hometown at a rally Saturday, leaving Dan Gilbert one step closer to taking a cue from the Angels of Major League Baseball and renaming the franchise, "The Cleveland Cavaliers of Akron" ...
A Pirates-Indians game that draws 28,478? What was the promotion giveaway – "One Ounce Gold Bar Night? ..."
What's more shocking? That Rasheed Wallace had to be blocked from the ref's room after Game 7 or that Ron Artest thanked his psychiatrist? ...
Marcus Jordan, son of Michael, tweeted that Kobe Bryant "could never be as good as my dad." You'd think a son of Michael Jordan's wouldn't be so anxious to slam somebody else for not living up to the legend...
It's the free agency that everyone will be watching when it becomes official by July 1. Wonder what ESPN's Erin Andrews is going to do now that her contract is up...
If I'm Albert Haynesworth and I just took a $21 million signing bonus from the Redskins, I play in the 3-4, the 2-5 and 1-on-11 if they want me to ...
I don't want to say referee Koman Coulibaly's call looked suspicious, but the French figure skating judge from the Salt Lake City Olympics thinks it should be investigated...
HE SAID IT
Clearly...
"We know how the French are. [Michel] Platini is French and he thinks of himself as being more than the rest of the world. I've never paid him any attention." -- Argentina coach Diego Maradona on soccer legend Platini's criticism of his team.
HE SAID WHAT?
This could explain why Ben Crane and Aaron Baddeley shot 80 Thursday at the U.S. Open.
"Those holes will eat you up. You go through [No. 7] and you think you better hold on to your underwear for the next hour." -- Johnny Miller on holes No. 8-10 at Pebble Beach.
YOU SAID IT
(The Slightly Expanded Sunday Edition)
"Hey Bud:
"During World Cup play, when a player complains to a referee, does the player believe the referee understands his and 31 other languages?" -- Pellegrino
No, that's why flopping and fake-blood ketchup patches are the universal language of soccer.
"I'm watching an Indians game, eating a bag of salted in-shell peanuts. The package says 'Ingredients: Peanuts and Salt.' Well ... okay. Below that, in boldface caps, it says 'Contains peanut ingredients'! It ... um ... help me, Bud." -- Pat
It's a warning for people allergic to peanuts. A similar warning on Indians' game tickets, for instance, would say "Contains minor league ingredients."
"Hi Bud:
"Before the King leaves; do you think it would help if Drew Carey disguised himself as a Zen wise man/philosopher and whispered in Phil Jackson's ear: 'It would be good and noble to challenge the Cleveland sports curse'?" -- Thomas
All wise men are needed at the Gulf or in Cleveland city government. Would you settle for Larry King?
"Bud:
"Why are fans warned that Gateway Plaza closes two hours after an Indians game?" -- Jack S
That announcement is not directed at the fans. They disperse quickly. It's meant for the tumbleweeds.
"Dear Bud:
"When Tom Izzo talked to a high-ranking member of the LeBron Administration, did he really think that offering a full scholarship would be enough to lure LeBron to play for Michigan State?" -- Michael S.
LeBron is holding out for a more lucrative deal than MSU, the Bulls, Knicks or even the Cavs can offer him -- an offer from USC.
"Bud:
"A question for you, if LeBron becomes LeGone does Cleveland become Leaveland?" -- Don C.
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection.
"Bud:
"Reportedly The Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, was secretly coaching the North Koreans in the World Cup with an 'invisible phone link.' Any chance Mike Holmgren can borrow this technology to secretly coach the Browns?" -- Jim
Repeat winners get a one-way ticket to Pyongyang.