Seneca Wallace is the latest addition to a not-so-exclusive quarterback club whose members lived to talk about their days with the Browns but would rather not.
How will Seneca Wallace do at quarterback against the Chiefs? Going by the theory that there's nothing Browns fans love more than a quarterback controversy, odds are good that Wallace will do enough to get a significant portion of the fan base behind him. Today's Ring of Honor ceremony at the stadium welcomes 16 Hall of Famers in a parade of Browns' greats six decades in the making.
Meanwhile, Seneca Wallace, who says he's been "somewhat" told he'll start today for the injured Jake Delhomme, is the 16th Browns quarterback to play at least one regular-season game just since 1999.
So, you got your ring and you got your carousel. One deserves a drumroll.
The other deserves merry-go-round music. Wallace is the latest addition to a not-so-exclusive quarterback club whose members lived to talk about their days with the Browns but would rather not.
Chronologically, Wallace follows Delhomme, Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson. Alphabetically, he's second-to-last in the roll call, sandwiched between Kevin Thompson and Spergon Wynn.
That's like getting nominated for an Oscar along with Vin Diesel and Steven Segal.
As ceremonial introductions go, chronological vs. alphabetical is a pick-your-poison proposition but if it came to it I'd probably opt for the chronology.
Proximity to Delhomme serves to remind those people in the seats who might mistake an early-season quarterback shuffle for "Groundhog Day" that Wallace comes with team President Mike Holmgren's stamp of approval, too.
In fact, Holmgren had more personal knowledge of Wallace than he did Delhomme since Wallace spent the last seven seasons in Seattle.
If you're looking for a general theme today, it's Holmgren's decision-making in everything from the Ring of Honor idea to the reduction in Jim Brown's role at the center of Brown's decision to skip the ceremony, to the two quarterbacks brought in after the team parted ways with Anderson and Quinn.
Quarterback is Holmgren's bailiwick. I think even Jim Brown would acknowledge Holmgren's expertise in that area. Then again, probably not.
While Delhomme didn't exactly validate that opinion with his two interceptions in Tampa, Fla., last Sunday, it's fair to reserve judgment since he limped through the second half on a sore ankle.
Knowing Delhomme's recent struggles in Carolina, Holmgren had to bring in another quarterback who could step in and start. He turned to Wallace for better or worse.
We'll find out today.
What to expect?
Wallace has started 14 games in his NFL career. He's 5-9, which suggests he already has what it takes to be a Browns starter.
But he put up 25 touchdowns against 14 interceptions. Only Anderson in 2007 had as respectable a TD-to-interception ratio.
Amazingly, Derek Jeter's acting job that got him awarded first base on a hit by pitch did not bring an end to the civilized world. But it did underscore how the civilized world has moved far away from sports talk radio.Which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about quarterbacking in Cleveland since 1999.
One reason to suspect Wallace will do well, though -- at least initially:
Somewhere it is written that there must be a quarterback controversy in Cleveland.
Take your base
Derek Jeter isn't having his best year unless you consider his Emmy potential.
Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter somehow caused a stir when he pretended a pitch from Tampa Bay's Chad Qualls hit him. He admitted later the pitch instead hit the handle of his bat as replays clearly showed.
Jeter was awarded first base and scored on a two-run homer.
The incident got the obligatory media treatment, meaning a continuous slow-motion loop on ESPN and a radio-talk show debate over whether Jeter's act was insidious enough to bring about the fall of civilization or merely gamesmanship.
"It's part of the game," Jeter told reporters. "My job is to get on base."
He's right. He didn't have to scream like Janet Leigh in a Bates Motel shower. But he's right.
Forfeiting respect
He isn't apologizing, he just got tired of dusting his biggest knickknack.
Reggie Bush says forfeiting his 2005 Heisman Trophy was not an admission of guilt.
Reggie Bush and his Heisman Trophy, before the breakup."It's me showing respect to the Heisman Trophy itself and to the people who came before me and the people coming after," Bush told reporters after a Saints practice. "I just felt like it was the best thing to do, the most respectful thing to do because obviously I do respect the Heisman. I do respect all the things it stands for."
Obviously.
I come down on the side of Washington Huskies head coach Steve Sarkisian, who was on USC's offensive staff in 2005.
Said Sarkisian: "He had a chance to apologize, look like the good guy. But in giving it back and not apologizing, he just looks like an idiot again."
He said it
"Obviously we snacked together." -- Browns head coach Eric Mangini, joking about the time he shared a house with former Browns head coach and current Kansas City Chiefs defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel.
After a couple of near fires, I'm told, Mangini took over the clock management of the oven and microwave.
You said it
(The Expanded Sunday Edition)
"Bud: Now you know why you'll never see Jim Brown and Albert Belle in the same place at the same time. They're the same bitter person." -- Jack, Lyndhurst
Not so fast. Albert has mellowed as he's grown older and is now helping old ladies halfway across busy streets.
"Bud: After Jimmy Dimora's experience, should Ben Roethlisberger get nervous if somebody says 'Bring out the chains?' " -- Joe Percio
Roethlisberger was never charged with a crime. As for Dimora, agents, citing FBI Scouting Combine reports, decided on the chains because they did not want to risk a foot race with him.
"Bud: I can't hit major-league pitching and I can't field. Do you think the Indians might have a spot for me at third base next year?" -- Dave Graskemper
Why limit your possibilities to third base?
"Bud: I've seen Braylon Edwards drop plenty of passes in Cleveland, but this is the first time I've seen him drop a kicker. Is this an additional sign of continued hand-eye coordination issues? -- Jeff Scott
Yes, though Edwards is claiming he was tossed into the kicker by an ill wind blowing from Ohio.
"Bud: Any speculation as to when Art Modell makes the Browns' Ring of Honor?" -- Edward
According to the Maya's "long count" calendar predicting the end of the world on Dec. 21, 2012, I'd say Dec. 22 of the same year.
"Bud: I have a separated-at-birth for you. Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz and Freddie Mercury of Queen." -- Devin Concord
I thought you were going to say John Boehner and Snookie from "Jersey Shore."
"Dear Bud: I notice the Tribe's deep thinkers are intent on limiting the innings of their young, completely healthy starters (most notably Justin Masterson) in an effort to prevent them from building up arm strength until they reach the Yankees. Does The PD put its young writers on word counts hoping to prevent carpel tunnel syndrome?" -- Jim O, Chardon
First-time "You said it" winners receive a T-shirt from the mental_floss collection.
"Bud: If Jim Brown was a platoon sergeant in the Army, would he only be willing to report to Gen. David Petraeus?" -- Jim D.
Repeat winners receive an all-expenses-paid trip to Afghanistan.