Tailgating is all about innovation. And these gadgets prove it.
Fans of the Houston Texans who tailgate outside Reliant Stadium this season will have no excuse if they miss kickoff. The team has installed a 170-decibel horn atop the stadium that will blast 30 minutes and 15 minutes before kickoff, calling parking-lot partyers into the stands.
Another brilliant innovation in tailgating.
With the Browns' first home game less than a week away, and local tailgaters shining their spatulas in anticipation, it's time to look at some of the more unique advancements in the "outdoor culinary arts."
Here are PDQ's favorites:
King Kong folding chair
Admit it, after years of tailgating, you've gained a bit of weight. OK, a lot of weight. So much that sitting in one of those cheap folding chairs is a crapshoot. Worry no more, thanks to this incredible innovation. The ALPS Mountaineering King Kong chair features extra-strong fabric and a reinforced steel frame. It holds up to -- this is no misprint -- 800 pounds. So, go ahead, inhale a few dozen more knackwursts. ($49.95, kodiakoutback.com)
Magnetic and suction coozies
The question you never want to hear at a tailgate (besides, "What's the number for 9-1-1?") is "Hey, where's my drink?" Still, a good portion of every tailgater's morning is spent searching for a misplaced can or bottle. Well, someone has wised up and introduced magnetic and suction drink holders, or "coozies." These allow fans to stick their drinks on the nearest vehicle and focus attention on other misplaced items, like children and spouses. (Starting at $19.95 for four, americantailgater.com)
Drill Blender
You normally don't have a blender in your truck, but you might have a cordless drill. That's all you need to enter margarita and daiquiri heaven -- if you have one of these gadgets. ($29.95, tailgatingideas.com)
Winegard Carryout portable satellite antenna
No self-respecting tailgater is going to show up at a parking lot with only a boombox for entertainment. Top-notch spreads now include not only television but HDTVs offering satellite coverage of the rest of the games in the league. This portable antenna picks up DirecTV and Dish Network signals and takes only seconds to install. With it, there's no reason to go into the stadium. (About $700, winegard.com for dealer list)
Drinking Buddy polo shirt
Most tailgaters this season will be wearing Browns jerseys, "Quitness" tees or, most likely, no shirt at all. They are the amateurs. Real tailgaters know you need both hands at all times, to eat, play catch, text friends and man the grill -- all at the same time. That's why they'll be wearing this shirt, which features a roomy, fully insulated breast pocket to store your bottle where it belongs -- close to your heart. ($23.95, americantailgater.com)
The Grill N Chill
There are many kinds of grills: gas, charcoal, smoker, small, medium, Shaun Rogers-sized. But this baby is in another league. It attaches directly to your vehicle and can be removed and wheeled anywhere. It boasts a 24,000 BTU grill, 50-quart ice chest with drain and 210-watt stereo system. This is what the angels grill with. ($2,799.99, goproductsusa.com)
Sky Darts
How do you spot a Steelers fan at a tailgate party? He's the one with the lawn dart in his head. Browns fans know that the first rule of tailgating is surviving to see the next tailgate. That's where soft-tipped Sky Darts come in. They are the safe alternative to a classic outdoor game. ($19.95, sportcraft.com)
Mobile Tiki Bar
It's the trump card, the jack of hearts, the joker, in any tailgate discussion. Three words: "mobile tiki bar." Say them, and all must bow in respect. Fits in any car trunk and sets up in less than 10 minutes. Show up in a parking lot with one and you might never again sleep alone. ($800, tailgatingideas.com)
Tempachair
Winter is coming, but there's no way subzero temps and lake effect can stop a tailgater, especially if your tuchis is toasty on one of these. Powered by a rechargeable battery, this portable heated chair maintains a heavenly 120 degrees for four hours, enough for you to drink enough to not notice any later frostbite. ($109.95, tempachair.com)
RoadPro 12-Volt Popcorn Maker
As the main course gets carefully grilled, tailgaters are going to want to snack. Offering bags of chips only will confirm your lameness. Instead, how about some freshly made popcorn? It's possible in any parking lot with this gadget, which plugs into a vehicle's lighter socket. ($28.50, Amazon.com)
Snake Eyes Yard Dice
Traditional parking-lot games like cornhole, catch or "kick the Ravens fan's can" eventually get old. Why not make things a bit more interesting by playing a few hours of high-stakes craps with these 3½-inch cube wooden dice. Just don't wager your tickets. ($31.99, YardDice.com)
The Tailgater
Your fellow partyers will wonder what the heck this thing is. No, it's not a gas can or a beer funnel (yikes) or even a trophy. Not even close. The top comes off, revealing a . . . um, . . . er . . . "a personal portable urinal for tailgaters." Includes a cardboard "cabana" for privacy. ($99.95, http://www.thetailgater-bsu.com/)