Brett Favre and LeBron James are vying for America's Top Diva. Bud Shaw picks the winner in his Spin column.
This may come as a surprise to those who believe they're a Worldwide Leader in Sports, but it's just possible that Brett Favre was enjoying the melodrama surrounding his return to the Vikings. But Bud Shaw says Favre shouldn't feel guilty about being a tease ...CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Ah, the mysteries of the summertime sports spin ...
Come to think of it, I cannot remember ever seeing them in the same room.
LeBron James always called himself a football player. He'd say that after games spent moaning on the ground like a soccer player.
I'll give him this much. If he were a football player, he'd be Brett Favre.
Without the championship jewelry.
The Summer of LeBron has been pre-empted by the The Summer of Brett's Winter Years. People are debating which guy's image took the sharper turn south.
The last time we could accurately say this about two celebrities, I believe Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell were threatening to settle things in a mud wrestling ring.
Clearly, James is the winner. His dumping of Cleveland is fresher than Favre's revenge on Green Bay. And James is making sure it never gets old.
He lands on the September cover of GQ pointing at his biceps. Or his near fatal elbow injury. It's hard to say which. He rips the same owner he didn't have the courtesy to call, chastising Dan Gilbert for a lack of character. Beautiful. You can't make this up.
Favre must've sensed he was losing the spotlight. The same day, three Vikings go to Mississippi to tell Favre how much they need him. Last year, Minnesota head coach Brad Childress picked Favre up at the airport. This year, three Vikings go on a recruiting mission.
... because no one can be a Drama King like The Chosen Narcissist and Third Person Namedropper. In a duel between Brett and LeBron for self-centeredness, this is a slam dunk.Next year, the Vikings pick up Favre at port and hold camp on Royal Carribean's Freedom of the Seas.
After the visit, Favre decided to come out of retirement for the 29th time. This week. He says he did it for his teammates.
I say he did it because he know James was outworking him at Diva School.
Favre has some catching up to do football-wise and even more in his competition with James, who told GQ he doesn't regret saying during the playoffs that he had spoiled Cleveland fans with his play.
"Cleveland fans are awesome," he said. "But I mean, even my family gets spoiled at times watching me doing things that I do, on and off the court."
Wow. Favre will have a hard time topping that.
James considers himself "The Chosen One." He has the tattoo across his back so it must be official.
There's only one way to compete with him and I'm told Favre is already looking into it. Sources say Favre will attempt through cryogenics to become the first athlete to play in three different centuries.
Only then will The Chosen One have met his match: The Frozen One.
HE SAID IT
"I don't think he ever cared about LeBron. My mother always told me: 'You will see the light of people when they hit adversity. You'll get a good sense of their character.' Me and my family have seen the character of that man." -- James, to GQ Magazine, about Gilbert.
Moral of the story: When you hit adversity, son, quit and go to South Beach.
The Browns' hope is that if Roger Goodell takes up this cause, he'll be too busy to get around to disciplining Shaun Rogers.
Former Colts' coach Tony Dungy thinks NFL Commissioner Goodell should take a look at the language used by Jets' head coach Rex Ryan on HBO's "Hard Knocks."
"I don't know that [Goodell] will or not, but I would hope that he does because I just don't think the league needs that," Dungy told Dan Patrick. "I don't think our young people need to hear that that's the way it's done to be successful. Because it doesn't have to be that way."
I don't think Ryan or anyone else would suggest bad language is the key to success. My guess is if Ryan were a preacher, he wouldn't curse.
At least not on Sundays.
In the meantime, if your kids already know what channel HBO is, it's too late.
SPINOFFS
Thank goodness that Jim Thome fellow was washed up and a bad investment avoided by the Indians back in 2003. Headline on an Internet site: "Indians spend big on top picks." Hey, they had me at "spend"...
According to a report, New Orleans point guard Chris Paul toasted Denver's Carmelo Anthony and his new bride last month at their wedding by saying he'd join Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York to counter the Heat with James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh...
And David Stern would like to reiterate that there will be no summit this time either...
Jim Thome's chronic back sure was his ruination, wasn't it? ... Only 247 home runs and counting since he left the Indians...
YOU SAID IT
"Bud:
"Seen Papa John's TV ads? He's got to be Dan Gilbert's twin brother. If so, wouldn't pizzas be a better deal than chalupas?" -- Bill Royse, Rocky River
In a bold statement dripping with emotion, Papa John guarantees a pizza delivery to your house before the Miami franchise delivers you one.
"Dear Bud:
"After seeing that the Browns finally gave up the 'hospitality defense,' and the 'chorus line offense' (one, two, three, kick) am I too euphoric in thinking that losing (punter) Dave Zastudil isn't all that bad?" -- Michael Sarro
If it helps validate your hopes any, Gilbert also guarantees the Browns will not need to punt during the 2010 season.
"Bud:
"If you give me a T-shirt, I won't tell LeBron what you have been saying about him." -- Paul Schmidt
You would've had me at "will."
"Bud:
"With all of the miles Shaun Rogers has logged on the stationary bike in the last two years, do you think he will try the Tour De France next year? I forgot. He would have to fly over there." -- Charlie, North Ridgeville
For that image of Shaun Rogers in cycling shorts, sir, consider yourself banned.
"Bud:
"LeBron James said he feels very motivated by what Dan Gilbert said about him after The Decision. It's too bad Gilbert didn't say those things before Game 5." -- Angelo, Cleveland
According to the GQ article, James says he wouldn't change anything over the past couple months. I suspect that means the Miami Heat underwear he wore during Game 5.
"Bud:
"Will the Cavs' next season be considered a success if they only beat Miami at home?" -- Regards, Tom Hoffner
No, Cavs fans are not that easily satisfied. But throw in a Carlos Boozer sprained ankle or a serious thumb wrestling injury to Big Baby Davis and you have the start on a Season of Dreams.
"Dear Bud:
"How did they ever convince that model to dress like Jiminy Cricket and pose on the cover of GQ while pointing to a biceps that is clearly not bigger than Dwyane Wade's?" -- Michael Sarro
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection.
"Bud:
"Will Manny Acta be glad when the easy part of the schedule is over?" -- Jay S
Repeat winners receive a tag-team beat down from the Baltimore Orioles and Seattle Mariners.