It's no wonder top quarterbacks like Robert Griffin III try to control what they can control at the NFL Scouting Combine, Bud Shaw writes in his Spin column.
AP fileSure, levitation would be a great asset for an NFL prospect to display this week in Indianapolis. But perhaps the lack of such a superpower won't be cause for scouts to be too critical.
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CLEVELAND, Ohio -- If NFL prospects were a tree, what kind of tree would they want to be?...
Get ready to hear that Robert Griffin III is hurting himself by choosing not to throw at the scouting combine. Just don't believe it.
Having top quarterbacks throw to unfamiliar wideouts in an unfamiliar space would give NFL scouts another measuring stick, sure. It might make the combine even more watchable for the NFL Network audience. But players and their agents can't be blamed for wanting to draw the line somewhere.
No big deal. The NFL gets to have it every other way this week in Indianapolis, putting prospects through agility tests, psychological screening, MRIs, drug tests, IQ tests and interviews missing only an earnest Barbara Walters. Former Ohio State lineman LeCharles Bentley remembers being asked if he could swim. Quarterback Jake Locker told a Seattle radio station he was asked to answer a hypothetical question he had no reason to ever entertain.
"I was asked if I had a 16-year-old daughter whether I'd let her be on birth control or not," Locker related. "That one kind of threw me for a loop. It caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say at first."
Former NFL safety Matt Bowen said in an article he wrote for the Chicago Tribune that one team asked if he preferred to wear a coat or a sweater in the winter. The Dolphins had him meet with a priest. He says he got multiple questions about a scar he got falling off a bike when he was seven years old.
And my favorite: One team official at the scouting combine asked Ohio State offensive lineman Kirk Barton if he'd rather be a dog or a cat.
"You wonder if it's a house cat or a tiger," Barton said at the time. "If it's a tiger, then you're solid. But a dog can beat a regular cat. I always pick the dog."
Prospects are too afraid to say, "You're kidding, right?" for fear it would reflect badly on them.
As further evidence of the NFL's reach and influence, NFL Network now carries 50 hours of televised sprints, drills, interviews and commentary. The combine has a sponsor -- Under Armour -- which showcased its new E39 workout shirt a year ago. A built-in sensor measured breathing rate, heart rate and horse power of select prospects.
Just as it did at the Super Bowl Media Day in Indianapolis earlier this month, the league is inviting a select number of fans in to watch for the first time. That's supposed to happen the morning receivers and quarterbacks have the stage. Fans had to write an essay and send a picture to a Web site to get the free tickets. It sold out, of course.
I'm convinced the league could sell fans on the importance of every single drill, even if it included bizarro sports from around the world:
• Chess Boxing.
The world championships include two-minute rounds, followed by four-minutes of chess. The slogan: "Fighting is done in the ring. War is waged on the board."
What better way to test brains and brawn?
No, we're not kidding. Chess boxing
• Wife Carrying
An annual event in Finland. The combine version could include prospects completing an obstacle course while carrying their girlfriends or school cheerleaders.
To add a mental toughness component to it, Gisele Bundchen would insult the less coordinated prospects for being unworthy of her husband.
"What kind of training have you been doing?" "Drinking"
• Mind Ball
A Swedish company called Interactive Productline pits two competitors trying through concentration and mental clarity alone to move a ball to their opponent's end of the table. Always on the cutting edge, I now believe that's what the Browns were attempting at times on offense in 2011.
A simple case of mind over mind
But what do I know? I believe they need Robert Griffin III, whether he throws at the combine or not.
SPINOFFS
The guess is Griffin will measure under his listed 6-2 and 220 pounds and some personnel men will make an issue of it.
Go figure. As if a more mature Cam Newton Lite would be a bad thing?...
The Oakland A's, like every other MLB team, use this time of year to preach to their players to respect the game. So what does it say that they signed Manny Ramirez after he twice quit on teams and twice tested positive for performance enhancing drugs? Third time's the harm?...
Don't get your hopes up yet, but the Pittsburgh Steelers are well over the salary cap. They forced offensive coordinator Bruce Arians out. They replaced him with Todd Haley, who isn't known as a player-friendly coach.
Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger says when he asked around the league about Haley he heard the gamut – "good, bad and indifferent."
All of which means the Steelers will probably go no better than 13-3. ...
Former Browns' quarterback Brady Quinn called comments attributed to him that were critical of Tim Tebow "inaccurate." According to the GQ Magazine article, Quinn questioned among other things Tebow's humility in making a show out of praying and said he would choose to pray with Broncos' teammates.
Maybe he should pray for a miracle, like getting on the field again someday. ...
In a related story, Broncos' fans -- showing no favoritism whatsoever -- pray together when the football leaves the hand of Tebow as well as Quinn...
A ESPN.com story about Lakers players calling a team meeting claimed that "some players are upset about what they perceive to be [Mike Brown's] ever-changing rotation." To that, Brown has every reason to say, "Rotation? What rotation?"...
As a NBA analyst, Shaquille O'Neal is a "before" advertisement for "5-Hour Energy"...
HE SAID IT
"It probably means he could also dominate the Shake Weight." -- ESPN NFL analyst Tim Hasselbeck on what it meant a year ago when Oregon State defensive tackle Stephen Paea set a new bench press record at the combine.
YOU SAID IT
(The Expanded Mid-Week Edition)
"Bud:
"Which will return to Cleveland first: Manny Ramirez, LeBron James or your bangs?" -- Chuck Levin
I'd have to say my comb-down, since it's expected to reach my forehead late in 2013.
"Hey Bud:
"If the Cavs did take LeBron back would there have to be a show called "The Resurrection"? -- Doug, Westlake
I'd prefer "The Insurrection."
"Hey, Bud:
"Before Wednesday's game, Lake Erie Monsters officials talked to more than 7,000 local students about the effects of bullying. During the game, there were two penalties for fighting, two for roughing and one for abuse of a referee. What lessons do you think these kids learned?" -- Tim, Twinsburg
Duck, Duck, Truce?
"Hey Bud:
"Does it count as a Lenten sacrifice if I give up listening to LeBron James' B.S?" -- Lance, Middleburg Heights
As much as not watching footage of The Drive or The Fumble does.
"Bud:
"Don't you think the economy must be really bad when a kid graduates from Harvard with a degree in economics and the best job he can get is working nights as a guard in Madison Square Garden?" -- Ron Cohen
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection.
"Dear Bud 'Lin' Shaw:
"Will the Indians front office get arbitration rings?" -- Fay R
Repeat winners have to settle for something else.
"Bud:
"What's crazier? Fausto Carmona being the advocate for not changing your name, the Shurmur-Aston Villa summit or the fact Jimmy Dimora's wife is still showing up to his trial?" -- Jim, Shaker Heights
Some repeat winners are held in contempt.