Detroit's signing of Prince Fielder casts a shadow over the Indians in 2012, but the real heavyweight is agent Scott boras, who also happens to represent a couple of Indians.
Benny Sieu, MCT"I'll take a double cheese, with ham, pineapple and green peppers and make sure it's this big!" Be careful, Tigers, says Bud Shaw, who wonders if there will be a scale available in the Comerica Park clubhouse this year. CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Consider it a jumbo with extra dough...
Take a good look at Prince Fielder, now under contract with the Detroit Tigers for the next nine years. Nine years is 3,285 dinners, counting post-game buffets.
Try to remember this is what he looked like before joining a team owned by a pizza magnate.
It's possible, I guess, that his Milwaukee years will be known as his salad days. The Pentagon tank budget aside, no one has ever invested so much money ($214 million) in a body this size. The Tigers are heavy favorites to win the AL Central with Fielder and Miguel Cabrera hitting in the middle of the lineup. And he is only 27. But when Victor Martinez comes back in 2013, they'll have three designated hitter/first basemen making almost $60 million a year.
The long-range feasibility of the deal is seriously challenged, which means agent Scott Boras must've been behind it. Boras casts the biggest shadow in the Fielder signing, which is saying something. A baseball GM once said that Boras wasn't really all that difficult to deal with, despite his reputation. So long as you gave him what he wanted. Then he was an absolutely delightful negotiating partner.
Boras is famous for playing nameless suitors against one another, eventually driving up the price well beyond the reach of all but one successful -- if deceived -- team.
It's too early to say the Fielder signing will be one deal the Tigers regret. There is, however, a precedent or five: Daisuke Matsuzaka, Barry Zito, Jayson Werth, Pudge Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez -- the 37-year-old Ordonez having had consecutive seasons of 50, 59 and 32 RBI.
No team seemed willing to extend itself to Albert Pujols' territory where Fielder was concerned, not with Boras demanding his usual no-trade clause for star talent. Tigers' GM Dave Dombrowski said Detroit couldn't afford Fielder's services long term. Actually he said that Fielder was "probably not a fit for us."
That's apparently the point where Boras went to work directly on ownership. A week after Martinez blew out his knee and reports predicted he'd miss the 2012 season, Boras cashed in on 82-year-old Detroit owner Mike Ilitch's sense of urgency.
Some GMs will try their best not to deal with Boras. The Indians can vouch for that. They overspent on Jeremy Guthrie, a Boras client, giving him one of the biggest signing bonuses in team history as part of a major-league deal. Once was enough. It's a good way to quickly run out of options on a player, and they did.
Boras steering Fielder to Detroit makes life more difficult for the Indians but that may only be the start. He also represents Shin-Soo Choo, who will become a free agent after 2013. It's probably more likely that Cecil Fielder, Prince's estranged father, will come back to the Tribe and hit 45 homers than it is the Indians will keep Choo.
Anyone who prematurely thought Boras was losing his touch knows better after the Prince Fielder signing. But lots of agents could shop Fielder and strike it rich. If Boras really wants to prove he's got the golden touch once and for all, let's see him get huge dollars for his other Indians' client when the time comes.
Matt LaPorta.
Anybody? Anybody?
America: Love it, or lecture it...
Goalie Tim Thomas, one of only two Americans on the Boston Bruins, skipped the White House celebration staged for the Stanley Cup champs this week.
Said Thomas, who wears the Tea Party slogan of "Don't Tread on Me" on his goalie mask: "I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People. ...
"This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an individual."
Yes, that team stuff is overblown, said Tim with an "i."
SPINOFFS
Golfer Bubba Watson paid $110,000 to buy the General Lee, the high-flying 1969 Dodge Charger made famous in the TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard." You could not get odds in Vegas on the winner of the bid being named Bubba...
The Tigers can try to couch it any way they want, but Detroit signing Fielder had to be a direct response to the Indians signing Julio Lugo.
Game on...
Long-time TV host Larry King is part of one of the many ownership groups looking to buy the L.A. Dodgers. Best case scenario if his group gets it: uniforms with suspenders.
Worst case scenario -- given what Dodgers' fans have just gone through with the McCourt ownership: King's eighth wife gets half the team in a divorce settlement...
Dick Pound, the former president of the World Anti-Doping Agency, says there is both known and suspected use of HGH in the NFL. He's critical of the NFL players association's perceived heel-dragging on instituting testing for human growth hormone.
Besides 300-pounders bench-pressing team buses and running stride for stride with Usain Bolt, no word on what could've raised Pound's suspicions...
HE SAID IT
"It's just the epitome of stupidity that we would allow ourselves to be used so other corporations can make tens, if not hundreds of millions, of dollars." -- Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who correctly says individual NBA teams assume too much risk and get nothing in return for letting star players compete in the Olympics.
AP fileHe wears his emotions right at the tip of that famous jaw -- but will he ever go back into the spotlight? Especially if the star player is Kyrie Irving and the country is Australia.
HE TWEETED IT
"The bigger they are the harder they fall." -- Indians' second baseman Jason Kipnis after the Tigers signed Fielder.
Except, you know, for when they win the division by 15 games.
SEPARATED AT BIRTH
Colt McCoy and Ponyboy Curtis (The Outsiders) -- Shawn Paul, Tremont
Elliot Spitzer and Bill Cowher -- Billy Q
YOU SAID IT
(The Greatly Expanded Midweek Edition)
"Bud:
AP fileIt wasn't his chin that got this big-time politician in trouble, and he's remained close to the shadows ever since. "A lot was made of [Tim] Tebow's '316' yards against the Steelers. Eli Manning totaled 316 yards against the San Francisco. Maybe the Mayans were right?" -- John Harman, Parma
You'll know the Mayans were right if on Dec. 20 the Browns are undefeated and in first place.
"Bud:
"What is your real name?" -- Tim
I thought my picture would've given it away. Fabio.
"Bud:
"After seeing Steven Tyler singing the National Anthem, all I can say is Dude looks like a very ugly lady." -- Angelo, Cleveland
I didn't think it was possible to make Roseanne sound like Sarah Brightman.
"Bud:
"'Big Show.' 'Big Money.' Similar names, same results!" -- Charlie, North Ridgeville
By that can I assume you don't mean because Gerard Warren is in the Super Bowl now, too?
"Bud:
"Do you grunt when you play tennis?" -- Tom Hoffner
I prefer cartoon sound effects.
"Hey Bud:
"What's Ubaldo Jimenez's real name, Nuke LaLoosh?" -- Mary, Macedonia
First-time "You Said It" winners receive a T-shirt from the Mental Floss collection.
"Hey Bud:
"During half-time of the Heat-Cavs game, the refs took back a Cleveland basket even though another play happened. Why do I feel this strange urge to throw a plastic beer bottle at the first zebra I see?" -- Pat
Repeat winners get excused by Carmen Policy.
"Bud:
"If Grady Sizemore got down on a knee to propose, does that mean he starts the year on the DL?" -- Rob Walker, Medina
Repeat winners do not get a honeymoon period.
On Twitter: @budshaw