If there's one constant in Hickson's basketball career, it's that his grandmother, Marie Myers, has always been there.
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CLEVELAND, Ohio — Marie Myers quietly sat on the edge of her seat and prayed, almost hidden as fans stood and cheered for the Cavaliers to keep from breaking the record for the longest losing streak in pro sports history.
"I couldn't watch," said Myers, whose grandson, J.J. Hickson, had a super game Feb. 11 as the Cavaliers eventually beat the Los Angeles Clippers in overtime, 126-119, to end their losing streak at 26 games -- keeping the Cavs tied with the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers for the unwanted record. "I kept asking God if we were going to win."
Hickson, who had 27 points and 14 rebounds that night, didn't have to look into the stands to see if Myers was there. If there's one constant in Hickson's basketball career, it's that his grandmother has always been there.
"My grandmother is my biggest fan," he said. "I knew she was up there in the stands supporting me. She always has my back."
Hickson, 22, owes his NBA success and growth as a man to his relationship with his 63-year-old grandmother. Despite the Cavs' disappointing season, Hickson always has a place of refuge. Myers moved to an east-side suburb of Cleveland shortly after Hickson was drafted.
"After every game, she never talks about the negatives," Hickson said of his grandmother. "She tells me to keep my head up. When I visit, I can always find peace over at her house. I even have my own room. When I go over there, it sort of brings back memories."
Those memories are not always pleasant.
Dealing with sorrow
Myers' daughter Keena, Hickson's mother, died of kidney failure when Hickson was in the seventh grade. Three years earlier, Myers' oldest daughter, Karen, died of a brain aneurysm, leaving her daughter, Altovice, with Keena. Keena's death left the two children in the hands of their grandmother. She became their caretaker.
PDThe Cavaliers' J.J. Hickson at The Q with his "biggest fan," grandmother Marie Myers.
Not only did she raise them alone, she also had to care for a granddaughter with sickle cell anemia. Altovice and Hickson moved from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., to Atlanta to live with Myers. Hickson's father did not have a good relationship with the mother of his child, nor with his son.
"Here I was working fulltime and taking care of Altovice and J.J.," Myers said. "And Altovice would go into crises a lot. She would go get treatments [at a hospital]. It was bittersweet. I had to sit with her because she wasn't old enough to stay by herself. I'd stay all night and go to work in the morning. I don't know how I did it, but God will equip you to do what you have to do."
Altovice, six years older than Hickson, died in 2004 from complications of her disease.
Now, Myers had to deal with another family death. This latest loss drew her and Hickson closer.
About that time, Myers began to realize her grandson had a chance to become a good basketball player. As a high school sophomore, he was nearly 6-foot-6, and his promise was as large as he was.
His fortunes on the court were left in coaches' hands, but Myers was in charge off the court. Standing 6-3, she had no difficulty letting coaches know exactly who ran Hickson's life, a lesson AAU coach Desmond Eastman found out the hard way.
In a seemingly innocent gesture, Eastman called Myers' home and invited Hickson to go to an Atlanta Hawks game. Hickson said yes.
"My phone rang back three minutes later," Eastman said. "J.J.'s grandmother was on the other end of the line."
She scolded Eastman about inviting J.J. anywhere before getting her permission.
"She said J.J. doesn't run her house, and I should have checked with her first," Eastman said. "She says, 'When you get here, you come see me first.' "
PD fileMarie Myers wipes tears from Shaquille Young's face as they warn students about the consequences of violence at St. Ignatius High School in April.
Grandparents raising grandchildren common
Marie Myers, like many grandparents, did not expect to become a full-time caregiver when she was put into the position to raise her grandson, Cavaliers forward J.J. Hickson, after his mother's death.
Myers' life parallels the plight of many in Cleveland and across the country as grandparents have increasingly become parents to their grandchildren. Rising divorce rates, child abuse, child abandonment, teenage pregnancy, death, incarceration and parental substance abuse are just some of the factors linked to this trend.
According to the 2010 U.S. Census Bureau, 6.4 million grandparents had grandchildren younger than 18 living with them in 2008. In Cuyahoga County, more than 12,000 grandparents are raising grandchildren.
Several organizations across the country and locally provide information and other forms of assistance to grandparents who find themselves as caregivers once again.
Myers is involved in several organizations as a volunteer. She helped raise more than $78,000 for Cleveland's Ronald McDonald House Charities, an organization that assists in the well-being of children. Myers also has been nominated for an award this summer in Washington, D.C. from Generations United, an organization that provides resources to help children and older people.
What Myers does is nothing new to her grandson.
"I remember her telling me stories about how her mother and grandmother would invite people to their house with open arms," Hickson said. "Whoever needed a meal could come to their house and get something to eat. From her speaking to kids and getting involved with the community is because of her upbringing."
Myers is also a public speaker. She has spoken at several different venues locally on a variety of topics that all deal with youth. A book on Myers' experiences, "Tragedy to Triumph" will debut this summer.
"It's important to give back, reach down and mentor someone else," Myers said. "It's always good to help someone else because people helped me."
— Branson Wright
Where to find help
Intergenerational relationships can be challenging, and several organiza tions are available for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren:
Generations United
1331 H Street NW, Suite 900
Washington, D.C. 20005
202-289-3979
gu.org
Fairhill Partners
12200 Fairhill Road
Cleveland, Ohio 44120
216-421-1350
fairhillpartners.org
Lakewood Grandparents
Raising Grandchildren
13616 Madison Ave.
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-529-6870
St. Martin de Porres Center
1264 E. 123rd St.
Cleveland, Ohio 44108
216-268-3909
Grandparent Group
East Park Recreation Center
1101 Prospect Street
Elyria, Ohio 44035
440-322-3028
Respite for Grandparents
Catholic Charities Services
of Lorain County
440-244-9915
As he came to pick up Hickson, Myers was waiting.
"She answers the door, looks me up and down, and J.J. is standing behind her looking like a little puppy," he said. The hang-dog look disappeared once he was given permission to go.
Growing up tough
Myers grew up tough in Augusta, Ga., the daughter of a moonshiner. She remembers being 5 years old and selling the elixir with her daddy. Later, her father taught her how to ride a motorcycle.
"He was my hero," Myers said. "I took on his personality of being strong and tough."
With that inbred toughness, Myers didn't let coaches -- or her grandson -- overstep their bounds. When Hickson strayed from doing his homework or acted like the class clown, Myers was there . . . literally.
"Whenever his grades were down, I'd go to his school," Myers said. "Once in the ninth grade, I came to the school and looked through the window of the classroom door. And he was in there talking to one of the students. I opened the door. He looked at me surprised, and I said, 'Yes, I'm here.' He was embarrassed."
Years later, Hickson relived that moment while in a theater watching the movie "Glory Road." One scene in the film showed a player's mother sitting in the classroom to the embarrassment of her son.
"When I saw that, I was like, 'There goes my grandmother,' " Hickson said. "When my grandmother came to my class, I was in shock, and I had to deal with my classmates teasing me about it."
Hickson had to deal with several so-called embarrassing moments during high school, such as the time he decided to join his friends on a street corner that had a bad reputation. He enjoyed hanging out there with his friends, although his hanging out came to a screeching halt whenever his grandmother arrived. Myers would drive up, order a contrite Hickson into the car and leave his friends, stunned, in her rearview mirror.
Myers demanded Hickson live by her strict rules, and he learned that disobedience came with a price. Once, Hickson didn't wash the dishes, a part of his daily chores, and he became angry at his grandmother when she scolded him. Hickson walked off in a huff, slamming the door to his bedroom in protest.
His grandmother's response?
"She took my door off the hinges," said Hickson, who smiles about the memory. "I couldn't have any privacy. My door was off the hinges for a week. She said, 'You want to slam doors? See if you can slam the door now.' "
One day late in Hickson's senior year, Myers would have loved the sound of a door slam followed by Hickson walking into the house. But on this night, Hickson, one of the best high school players in country, stayed out all night at a house party.
"I was sick to my stomach," Myers said. "J.J. had never stayed out all night before. At about 5 that morning, I called my pastor. He prayed with me for about 20 minutes, and here comes J.J. through the door. I ran to J.J. I kissed him, touched his face and looked under his shirt for bruises. He said, 'Grandma, I'm OK.' Then I went off [yelling] on him. It scared him to death. I told him not to ever do that again."
And he didn't.
The enforcer
Hickson did not always agree with his grandmother's methods, but he appreciates them now. It's similar to how some players feel about their coaches.
"But my grandmother was more like an enforcer than a coach," Hickson said. "She often does it in a kind way, but she's strictly business. She's a big believer in tough love. That tough love helped me to become the man I am today."
Following graduation at Wheeler High School outside of Atlanta -- he averaged 25.9 points and 13.8 rebounds per game -- Hickson enrolled at North Carolina State on a basketball scholarship. He didn't travel to N.C. State alone.
"I moved to North Carolina because I knew J.J.," said Myers, who worked a security job that year. "I knew if I didn't push him in certain areas, he wasn't going to do it."
As usual, Myers was right about her grandson. Hickson, in his one year at N.C. State, needed an occasional push from his grandmother. If Hickson's studies were not up to par, all Myers had to do was threaten a classroom visit, and Hickson would refocus. If Hickson dropped the ball, Myers was there to pick it up.
Early that school year, the North Carolina State coaches could not locate Hickson for several hours. Hickson didn't answer his cell phone. Once Myers was notified by coach Sidney Lowe, she started her search. She came to the campus, and after questioning several students, she figured out her grandson's whereabouts.
"I was told J.J. was at nearby [St. Augustine's College]," Myers said. "I drove up to the gate of that school, and one of the security guards wasn't going to allow me in. One of the other security guards could see I was determined, so they let me in."
Once in, and after speaking with several students on campus, Myers found Hickson -- in the campus gym.
"I walked into the gym, and J.J. looked at me, and his eyes got wide," Myers said. "He turned away and looked at me again and said, 'Oh my gosh.' I asked him why was he here with everyone looking for him. He didn't have an answer. If J.J. got out of line or didn't do what he was supposed to do, I'd take his car. He was too big for me to spank, so I'd take something away that he liked."
Cavs didn't hesitate
Myers, however, couldn't take away Hickson's desire to turn pro after one season, in which he was named honorable mention All-Atlantic Coast Conference. Myers wanted him to remain in school for at least two years and wrestled with the issue, until she found the answer in prayer.
"I really prayed about his decision -- I want J.J. to graduate from college," Myers said. "I'll ask him from time to time about going back to school, and he'll just look at me funny. He's only 22, so he'll always have time to go back to school. I'm praying that he will."
Despite only one year in college, the Cavaliers didn't hesitate when they selected Hickson 19th overall in the 2008 NBA Draft. His background was an asset.
"The Cavaliers knew J.J.'s grandmother was going to move to Cleveland and live with him, and they liked that," Eastman said. "It wasn't talent alone that made the Cavaliers draft J.J. . . . They knew they were getting a good kid."
Cavaliers guard Daniel Gibson said it's a plus to have someone in your corner at this level, especially for a young player.
"Guys who just want to hang around to enjoy the ride isn't good for you," Gibson said. "You need people that are here to help and support you, because coming into the NBA, you're excited about being here, but you're also nervous. So I'm sure J.J.'s grandmother had enough experiences to help ground him and let him know that everything's going to be all right."
Hickson's time on the court wasn't consistent until this season. He's averaging 12.4 points and 7.7 rebounds per game. Maybe Hickson, now in his third season, is moving into a more confident position as a player. Off the court, maybe the time has come where he and his grandmother can create more distance between themselves.
Hickson, who has lived with his grandmother since he was 13, said that kind of space is hard to imagine.
"We've lived together for so long," he said. "I have a ton of love for her. She's the only lady in my life right now. She said once I get married, she'll let me go, but I don't believe that."