When it comes to spinning a story, former Browns' president Mike Holmgren is a master. Holmgren's latest is that he regrets not coaching the Browns and that owner Randy Lerner was against it.
CLEVELAND, Ohio – Because there’s always something to spin in Cleveland sports…
• I can’t remember a more perfect item for Spin than the latest revisionist history from Mike Holmgren, who told Peter King that his one regret during his time in Cleveland was he didn’t coach the Browns.
Why?
“I really just should have coached the team, but he [owner Randy Lerner] didn’t want me to," Holmgren said.
If you know anything about Randy Lerner, the Browns’ reluctant owner, he desperately wanted somebody to make the Browns a winner. He just had no idea how to go about finding it.
How good would he have looked to his fan base if he brought in a two-time Super Bowl coach to fix what ailed the team after firing Butch Davis and Pete Garcia, hiring Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage, firing Crennel and Savage, hiring Eric Mangini and George Kokinis, firing Kokinis (am I missing anybody? What’s that you say, John Collins?).
He was going to draw the line at Holmgren wanting to coach again?
Fact is, Holmgren said more than once that he mulled coaching the Browns, asked the people closest to him for their opinions, and that his wife wasn’t excited about the idea.
Now his spin is that he should’ve become the team’s head coach – a job where all his career success happened – and that Lerner preferred he stay in a position he never held before?
I can imagine the conversation:
“Randy, I’m thinking of going to the sideline for a few years and turning this thing around."
“Mike, no offense, but I won't have it. What about Pat Shurmur?”
• Congratulations, Mike, you have outspun Spin.
• On their way out of town after another dismal season, Cavs players defended head coach Mike Brown and told reporters they wanted him to return.
They just had a funny way of showing it all season long.
• A man dressed as Jesus attended the Bruins’ game at TD Garden Center in Boston on Easter Sunday.
And was booed.
Fans in attendance claim they were booing the security guard who was escorting the man from the game (reportedly for trying to smoke).
But if some fans were actually booing Him, I don’t know what to say.
Except, Philadelphia, you are off the hook.
• Any true believer will tell you, pelting Santa Claus with snowballs at Christmas is a venial sin by comparison.
• Chicago White Sox lefty Chris Sale was placed on the disabled list with arm problems.
Because I picked him to win the Cy Young Award.
• When Jason Giambi was activated from the DL, the Indians made room for him by sending reliever Blake Wood to Columbus.
Proving there is a limit to lucky numbers even in a casino town where Wood’s 7.11 ERA made him the odd man out.
• The Seahawks spent a seventh-round draft choice acquiring quarterback Terrelle Pryor from the Raiders. Some believed the Raiders would be cutting Pryor any day.
Turns out the San Francisco 49ers were also interested, according to reports.
Now we know the rivalry between the Seahawks and 49ers is such that if the Niners jumped off the Golden Gate bridge, the Seahawks would find a way to jump first and immediately try to drain the bay.
• If you ever find yourself arguing on behalf of the extinction of the designated hitter, just watch any Bartolo Colon at-bat. While he's the extreme example, fact is most pitchers are so overmatched it's ridiculous.
Most recently, Colon completely lost his helmet while taking a vicious cut against the Braves. But his plate appearances became legendary long before that.
In Colon’s defense, he did get a hit.
In 2005.
• It seems only fair that if we asked you to look at Colon at work in the batter's box, we balance things by revisiting Kevin Durant at work in Monday's game against the Memphis Grizzlies.
Both are amazing in their own right.
• Lonnie Chisenhall batted cleanup Monday, a day after batting ninth.
As the roll call of distinguished Indians’ cleanup hitters goes, 19 more games in the No. 4 spot and Chisenhall is Jose Lopez.
• The search for a serviceable clean up hitter, let alone a feared one, involved stumbling upon Lopez in 2012.
His path: Triple A-to-No. 4 Indians hitter-to-Designated-For-Assignment.
Quite the rags to rags story.
• What nominated Chisenhall for the job Monday night was not only his .448 batting average but the fact he was 5-for-10 with a homer and four RBI off Jeremy Guthrie.
And, given Chisenhall’s power numbers, it was still a stretch.
Since, you know, there are no power numbers.
• Milwaukee’s Carlos Gomez played a part in a brawl in Pittsburgh when he flipped his bat and admired his work after hitting a shot off Pirates’ starter Gerrit Cole.
Instead of leaving the park though, the ball hit high off wall. Gomez settled for a triple. An argument with Cole escalated in a benches-clearing brawl.
Gomez said he was just doing “my job” and that he doesn’t object to a pitcher trying to get him out throwing “98.”
Which isn’t the point at all, obviously. The point was he wasn’t just doing his job.
Unless his job is to act like he’s never hit a ball hard before.
• Baseball has many crazy unwritten rules. But policing showboating is actually one of its more endearing qualities.
It’s why I use periods instead of exclamation points.
• Indians’ attendance on a perfectly mild Easter Sunday: 11,716.
That paled compared to teams all over Major League Baseball.
So does that make Cleveland a bad baseball town or an especially pious city?
Without starting the same old debate about poor attendance, the Dolans’ shallow pockets, etc, for now can we just agree that we are a religious people and baseball is not our religion?
• Other cities’ attendance on Easter:
Pirates: 21,761; Padres 25,035; Marlins; 20,228; Rockies 33,563.
A team in a state where marijuana is legal drawing 33,563 on 4/20 makes you wonder what the promotional giveaway was.